The 7 Stages of Grief: Plot Twist Edition

It committed a breaking and entering on your fucking heart.

Warning: This is how PLOT TWIST chooses to grieve. It’s messy, it’s real, it’s full of dark humor, and it may not be for everyone.

This week on "Night Of The Grieving Dead" our special guest, and one of my RIDE-OR-DIE's, Auntie, discuss the grief that comes when the people you love the most die. This is something every single one of us will face, and both her and I use DARK HUMOR as a coping mechansim. If you do too...read on:

1. Shock – The Horror Movie Version

You thought life was fine… then BAM! The news hits like a jump scare you didn’t see coming. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and you half-expect the ghost in the corner or a zombie to leap out and scream, “Plot twist!” Everything is surreal. Reality has just committed a full-on horror-movie break-in on your heart.

2. Denial – WE are now a "KAREN"

You refuse to accept it. You picture yourself storming into fate’s office demanding answers. “Excuse me, I would like to speak to the manager of the universe, please.” Denial is the blunt, bob-styled wig you wear when life’s horror show has no refund policy. It’s pretending it didn’t happen, hoping someone will just fix the script—you try everything to get this horrible thing UNDONE..... You clutch onto the possibility that it’s a mistake, that it’s a bad dream. All you want is a tiny bit of control in an uncotrollable situation.

3. Anger-The Fuck Fest ( on REPEAT)

FUCK this. FUCK you. FUCK everything. And then… you replay all the things that pissed you off before they even died, sprinkle in some blame for others, and maybe throw a little shade at God or the universe while you’re at it. People don’t always want to admit it—but it doesn’t make you a bad person. Rage is loud, messy, and human. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost faith; it just means you’re alive and feeling all of it.

4. Bargaining – The Soul-Haggler’s Edition

Desperate, unrealistic, and ridiculous—but you do it anyway. You try to make deals with God or the universe like you’re haggling for your sanity on Facebook Marketplace. “I’ll give anything, please… just let them be okay.” Sometimes you even try to sell pieces of your own soul in place of the person who’s gone. You do it because you want control in a situation where there is none, even though it’s absurd.

5. Depression – Crawling Into the Dark Hole

Crawling into a dark hole you never want to leave. Crying becomes your life: shower cries, car cries, pity parties where you’re the only VIP guest—but hey, at least you’re the VIP! This is your all-expense-paid trip that you never asked for. It’s scary, it’s hard, and fuck… do you spend an obscene amount on tissues and toilet paper. But it’s a healthy part of the process. You vacation there, allowing yourself to let the heaviness that comes with grief finally break you down. Sometimes, even years later, you’ll revisit this phase—and that’s completely normal.

6. Testing – I’m ALIVE

“Okay… so I’m still breathing. Guess I have to live.” You start testing life again. It’s awkward, clumsy, sometimes funny. But here’s the key: LIVE IN HONOR OF THEM. Every day you take a breath, you live for yourself and for the person you miss so fucking much. You experiment with moving forward, poking your head out of the grief hole, and realizing maybe—just maybe—you can do this.

7. Acceptance – You Learn to Live Without Them

Acceptance isn’t rainbows and sunshine; it’s living with the gaping hole that can never be filled. It changes you, sharpens your awareness of life and mortality, and forces you to ask: “What the fuck am I gonna do with my time?” You don’t have to like it. You can hate it. Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re some sort of treasure troll with rainbows and confetti shooting out of your ass about the situation. It just means you recognize the loss and consciously choose to keep living—honoring them with every breath. You don’t MOVE ON – You MOVE FORWARD!!!!

THE FINAL CHAPTER – IT ALWAYS COMES BACK.....

And yes… sometimes you will vacation back into the dark portions of grief—on anniversaries, holidays, or random moments that hit out of nowhere. You get to the end of the movie thinking it’s over, only to realize grief never ends; it’s always lurking in the shadows. Think of it like a horror franchise: you, the star, have survived everything Jason, Freddy, or Leatherface has thrown your way—and you’re still standing. Stronger, rawer, and carrying the love of those who are gone with you. You allow yourself to feel it, cry it out, rage, and remember.

PLOT TWIST: YOU’RE STILL ALIVE.

You get one of these.

They did too.

Live for both of you.

FIRST ROW(left to right: 2 photos are of Auntie and I. Photo 3: Both of us w/ Amanda

MIDDLE ROW (left to right): Amanda and I and the last is Aunties Parents.

LAST ROW (left to right): Aunties parents, then 2 of my Grandma

We love them, we miss them, we live IN HONOR OF THEM!